You don't want to give her a complex. Ignoring the emails of someone you see around somewhat frequently is. Then you're stuck doing it in person, or at least on the phone. It's smart strategy to never give someone you've dated any reason to be that angry or hurt. Much nicer, and much more mature than not returning calls, etc. After many years of not being able to land a date, I gave up and now seem to be going on dates all the time women I meet offline and online. Ask that guy how he'd prefer to learn that someone has decided she's not interested. Am I shy at first? Yes, to show her she's not "wrong", to not be ambiguous, to let her ask any questions she might have or at least have a good dinner to soften the blow. I just don't think we're really compatible, and it's best to break things off cleanly. She clearly thinks things are going decently; if you fade off the face of the planet, she's left with at least a week or so, probably more, of having this on her mind as unfinished business. People take things like this in different ways, some shockingly poorly, some surprisingly well. She's really asking you to tell her if this has a chance or not. If you fade out she'll have a week or two of "oh well maybe he's been busy, or lost his cell phone, let me call him again" and this waiting and wondering SUCKS. But clearly this is not the adult thing to do. It's me, not you ;- Just avoiding the situation is a really bad idea, as you appear to have already realized. So I think it's not a gender thing.
Man or woman up and be pleasant, truthful and straightforward, so that they can get over it which may take weeks or no time at all or somewhere in between and move on with complete certainty about where you stand. Telling me you would never want to date me would hurt my feelings very much. I always felt like going on a couple of dates with someone made them a person I'd been on a couple of dates with to see if we'd have a good time and possibly keep on dating. I generally prefer honesty, but it can sometimes be unnecessary and so a little mean. It's always best to keep the number of people who think you are an asshole as small as possible, even if you think you'll never see them again. While you should never do it to them, on the other hand, don't take it that personally when they do it to you. Besides, how long does it take to fire off an email like that? It's me, not you ;- Just avoiding the situation is a really bad idea, as you appear to have already realized. Added an extra sting to something I hadn't been that bothered about. This is the last paragraph of the message we talked about in this post. I think it's better not to respond. After some experience, I learned it's best to just gently let people know. Much nicer, and much more mature than not returning calls, etc. I have been on the other side of this too. Then again, if I'm interested in someone I tend to be fairly explicit about that, and tell them in an un-pressured manner to let me know if they would like to see me again. So my initial advice is that you should think about what type of girl she seems to be and go with your gut. Are you going to run into him at your mutual coffee shop in a few weeks and have an awkward encounter or will he act like nothing happened? Personally, I'd go white-lie route, and say something along the lines of the timing sucks, but I've started seeing someone I used to date, blah blah or something equally geared to leading the person away from worries like "Was it my breath? I think you already know the right thing to do and frankly, most of the time when people fade out because they "think the other person would prefer it," they're really just trying to avoid the confrontation. Ooh, that guy I hate. He tells her that things will be fine. Listen carefully to answer. Increasingly concerned he is a person whose daily life is filled with death and its consequences , he keeps looking for her and eventually shows up at her apartment block and convinces the superintendent to let him in, in case she's died of a drug overdose or choking alone or something. This is a decent addition to your email because it lets her know that YOU are real. I probably still have it That way you can both move on quickly, you get to feel good about yourself for owning your feelings but not being unkind. How do I say "no" without being mean?
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