Basically, dating a Generation Y military man is no different than dating anyone else. This will be trying for you, but imagine how he feels. You will be inundated with more random facts about places like the Middle East or the South than you care to cram into your brain. The military teaches service members to trust their unit, and few others. Do not expect this vulnerability to come quickly. It is not a competition between his military friends and you; they are people who shared a very intimate part of his life, and you should want to be close with them, too. But, trust me, it is worth the effort. Granted, that is earned due to the nature of their work and how much they put on the line. His may be unimaginable to you, but that does not make him any better or worse. Military men are used to their band of brothers, and are bred to be loyal and protective. They are meant to be extremely close with this group of people and everyone else is simply on a need-to-know basis. There have been a few articles about the pros and cons of dating the Generation Y military man , and while some of them are better reads than others, I felt the need to weigh in.
Just be a decent human being and you will get decency back. Be patient, but keep digging at those walls. His way is the best way because he knows best. It is not a competition between his military friends and you; they are people who shared a very intimate part of his life, and you should want to be close with them, too. This will be trying for you, but imagine how he feels. He will love you fiercely and be the most faithful companion, if you can promise the same. You need to try your hardest to understand, get him to eventually talk about it preferably to a professional and pretty much avoid all triggers — like war movies. This article originally appeared at Cellar Door , the personal blog of Gabrielle Puglia. Military men are used to their band of brothers, and are bred to be loyal and protective. Recognize the invisible wounds. Basically, dating a Generation Y military man is no different than dating anyone else. Just keep in mind that the chances of him wanting to open up and talk about it — let alone seek help — are slim to none, at least at first. Not every soldier comes home with post-traumatic stress. Enjoy the fun facts. Military men are used to being thrown into countries and situations with which they are unfamiliar, so when traveling, always expect to have a great navigator around. Let him do the driving. That is not a good thing or a bad thing, that is just a matter of fact and something you need to understand. This is based solely on the experiences of my veteran friends, as well as my own with a past paramour. Get over the air of authority. Do not expect this vulnerability to come quickly. It is a lot of work to break down those barriers and gain enough trust for him open up and be vulnerable. Many military creeds reference loyalty or unity. Trust me, eventually, they will come up. You need to understand that the military is a brotherhood. Slowly break the barrier.
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