You're naturally feeling pretty excited to take things to the next level, and the two of you are talking about how it will go down. Be There For Her Afterwards Regardless of your relationship status, you should be kind and courteous to your partner in the aftermath of her first sexual experience. The idea of sleeping with a virgin can be pretty daunting, due to the high degree of pressure we place on the concept to begin with. Are you being pressured out of using protection, or pressured into a relationship you've made clear you don't want? Talk About Your Expectations Are the two of you in a relationship, or is this a casual thing for you or her? Cuddle, say kind things, and stick around. If it's no big deal for her, you'll still need to be gentle and considerate, but there may be less emotional prep work involved. Will your relationship continue after the two of you have sex, and in what capacity? So far, so good! Make sure she gets home safely. Now is not the time to be experimenting with wild positions and sustained sex marathons, and your main focus should be on ensuring your partner's comfort.
Now is not the time to be experimenting with wild positions and sustained sex marathons, and your main focus should be on ensuring your partner's comfort. It doesn't need to be an anxiety-inducing experience, though. In general, these contrasting conceptions of virginity divide down gender lines: Pay extra attention to non-verbal cues, too: So far, so good! Take your cues from your partner: That's not okay, and you're entitled to draw clear boundaries and stand up for yourself. If this is a massive, massive deal for her, you're going to need to talk about it in detail and spend some time laying the foundations for the event. Talk About Your Expectations Are the two of you in a relationship, or is this a casual thing for you or her? Your partner will probably need more preparation than you will, and it's your role to be there for her to discuss any issues that arise. She has a reciprocal role to listen to your concerns, too, and to address them as best as she can. No, not just with you: Will your relationship continue after the two of you have sex, and in what capacity? Are you being pressured out of using protection, or pressured into a relationship you've made clear you don't want? Obviously you can't completely prevent one of you getting hurt feelings or regretting what happened, but you can reduce the chances with clear, honest communication up-front. For others — usually females, but not always — virginity is a precious state to be lost only when you've found someone you truly love. Are things moving faster than you'd like them to? She pauses, and then brings up an unusual complicating detail: Read on for the top eight things to consider before sleeping with a virgin: Sex is something she hasn't experienced before and she will be physically unused to it, which could mean a bit of blood on your sheets and potentially some pain for her. If you are contemplating sleeping with a virgin who is much younger than you in her teens, say, while you are well into your 20s or older , it's worth reconsidering the power dynamics at play in your situation. How do you make her feel as comfortable as possible, and make sure her first experience goes well? It's important to remember, too, that the sex itself may not be amazing: Cuddle, say kind things, and stick around. You Will Need To Take Things Slowly And Gently Regardless of your partner's attitude towards losing her virginity, in terms of the physical act itself, it's going to pay to take things slowly. Make Sure That You're Feeling Safe, Happy And Comfortable, Too Of course the focus here will mainly be on your partner, as she is the one who is losing her virginity, but that doesn't mean you fall out of the picture completely.
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