So if you both want more, then go for it! Published in and written by three, well-respected US scholars including sexologist Pepper Schwartz , it draws on thousands of surveys to find out what makes couples happy. If both of you love sex when you do have it, then great! The study was published by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology and surveyed 30, couples in the U. Perhaps you've always had that special secret fantasy, but you've never mentioned it or acted on it. Many couples take frequent weekends or holidays just for this purpose. If you are both on board and want to reconnect, why not plan a weekend getaway to jump start things? Other polls show that about 2 percent of couples have zero sex. Sure, there are couples out there who've been married for 30 years who're still hot for each other, and good for them. Frankly, most couples who worry about frequency of sex tend to fear their frequency is significantly below the curve, so to speak. If yes, then who is the one with an excessive or deficient sex drive?
It seems some people are born with high or low libido, but there are many other factors that can contribute to it. A good marriage therapist can help you both get to the root of why sex is an issue, and offer help to bring you together again. Unfortunately, many people and sometimes even both people in a marriage either have no sex drive or something else is inhibiting them. Imagine someone else fancying them: Some people are heterosexual; others are homosexual or bisexual. This can be caused by any number of factors, including lingering resentments, lack of emotional intimacy, diminished physical attraction, differing sexual interests, etc. Perhaps you've always had that special secret fantasy, but you've never mentioned it or acted on it. This issue often arises in couples counseling. It is also important to recognize that you and your partner can be physically intimate without actually having sex. As such, a regular sex life can be an important contributor to overall health and happiness. Often in such cases the real issue is that things have gone a little stale. As long as your sexual behavior or lack of it isn't illegal, affecting your self-esteem, troubling to your relationship or leading to negative life consequences, why worry? In most couples, one person always wants sex more, and the other will want less sex. Not having sex doesn't mean these couples aren't deeply in love, monogamously committed and happy together. These caring professionals can be found via websites like www. For most couples, especially those who've been together for a number of years, companionship, reliability and a sense of mutual trust are far more meaningful than a lot of hot, sweaty sex. So how much sex should you have to level off with happiness? Some couples, especially older pairs who've been together a long time, are perfectly fine with once or twice a year or even not at all, thank you very much. Give your partner a gift "just because. Researchers do say that the more sex you have, the more you feel like doing it. Stop the blame game and take accountability for making things better. Plus, all of the above are terrific forms of sexual foreplay should you wish to go all the way. It is wise to rule out any potential physical or medical problems before considering relationship-based or psychological issues. About 15 to 20 percent of long-term couples fall into this category. If the answer to one or both the questions is yes, then you must have wondered whether you have a higher sex drive than others, or does your partner have a lack of libido. We all go through ups and downs. Take your art-lover wife to a museum, your sports-junkie husband to a pro football game.
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